middle of november, already?!

I cannot believe It's the middle of November already! The holidays are right around the corner and I cannot wait! Last November/December I was in full force morning sickness and Cody had a kidney stone so we weren't able to enjoy it that much so I am very excited for this year!

We got our family/Evynn's 3 month pictures back and we love them!

that forehead scrunch, i melt.

 last weekend we went to athens, tx for a funeral for cody's grandpa who lost his life a few days prior after a battle with cancer. It was weird being with the whole family without him but a great celebration of his life. Cody did part of the service and received many compliments for his great job speaking. 

Evynn looked precious for the service, if i do say so myself ;)

cousin carter maybeeee warmed up to evynn this visit? 

on the way home we took a different route and met up with my parents in fresco for lunch. it had been 6 or so weeks since they had seen Evynn and I knew it was killing them. It is so hard to find even time between families, sheesh. But we had a great lunch and Evynn had a good grip on her grandpa while he ate ;)

We got home late Sunday night then back to work we went. Luckily I'm on call today to hopefully clean/pack/do laundry from our last trip before our next one. Yikes!

two blue lines

No, i'm not pregnant.

 just reminiscing on a year ago when we found out we were!

A year ago today Cody finally agreed that we should take a pregnancy test. I'd had a suspicion for literally weeks and at this point my body had already started changing, I was tired as could be, and I was late. While I laid on the couch not feeling great, he was able to come home from work early and I told him to stop and get pregnancy tests on the way home. I remember him coming home and we sat with the tests on the coffee table as we small talked, probably trying to avoid the big elephant in the room ;) finally I said "let's see!". We took a few minutes to pray for our hearts regardless of the result and then we read the instructions. I did the business while he read the instructions "it says wait 2.." he said when I interrupted "they're both positive". I think we were both in utter shock and excitement and every emotion at that point. I so wish I could bottle up that moment, one we'll never get back! We spent the rest of the day taking pictures to document it and enjoying the day together with our little secret. We so desperately wanted to tell our families but knew we could tell them in person if we waited 2 weeks, so we waited and told them on Thanksgiving.

Looking back, it has truly been the best year. I really loved pregnancy and look forward to future pregnancies. From the day we got that positive test, our prayers and focused changed and our faith grew by leaps and bounds. Between the natural worries of pregnancy and knowing too much about everything that can happen, I was a hot mess in anxiousness. It was a true test of faith for me.

Of course in pregnancy there was morning sickness like crazy, sciatic pain, and the inevitable weight gain but still such a wonderful 9 months of knowing that little human was growing inside. And the grand finale was meeting her in a wonderful birth.

We've learned so so much in the last 3 1/2 months... how to survive off little sleep, how to sacrifice so so much of yourself, how to serve your spouse and communicate, how to be patient, how to pray pray pray, and we've enjoyed every  most minutes of it ;)

Evynn Claire, we love you oh so much and couldn't imagine our lives without you!

drooling, pulling, and feet

Not too much is happening around here. We celebrated our anniversary, took beautiful family/Evynn's 3 month/our 2 year anniversary pictures, I worked, and we had our first halloween. I so wish we would've actually done something for halloween, I found so many fun family of three/baby costume ideas but had to work during trunk or treat then we spent all of actual halloween sleeping on the couch from a busy friday night/5th quarter the night before! Halloween night I put everything pink on Evynn with a tutu and called her a ballerina just for dinner, ha! I told Cody we should've been "new parents" and bust out our look from the early weeks-pajamas all day every day, spit up down our shirts, dark circles under our eyes, crazy sleep hair, and coffee in hand. Totally missed the opportunity, oh well.

Evynn decided over the weekend to start rolling back to belly...with no announcement. We looked down and saw that she was flipped over. oh, okay! Good thing we weaned her from the swaddle last week, PTL. She now frequently rolls over from her back to her belly anytime she's on a play mat but then panics when she's on her belly.... we're working on problem solving skills and trying to remind her of her first trick (roll back over, sweet girl).

She also has started pulling and grasping. Pulling on my shirt while she nurses, (or pinching me while she nurses, ouch!) pulling my hair, and always has a handful of my hairs that she collects from who knows where. It's really unfortunate that postpartum hair loss and her grasping hit at the same time. sigh. She's working really hard to sit up too. not quite able to by herself but she'll lean her back on my chest and hold her upper back and head up by herself. She also just started drooling all.the.time. Also, she found her feet and loves to grab them or pick up her legs to her face.

Going back to work has been great, but as mentioned before, getting in a routine of pumping has been the hardest to get on track with. I feel like I'm always washing bottles in between work days, I can't imagine if we were bottle feeding her all the time, sheesh! She drinks 4-5 bottles between 5am-7:30pm while I'm gone. So I get home, wash those 4-5 bottles, pour the milk from my 4-6 pumped bottles into those, wash my "pump" bottles and get them ready to pump again tomorrow and now her bottles to drink are ready to go in the fridge. It's a good routine, but it does seem like a ton of bottle washing in the meantime.

I'm savoring today-my first day off after working three in a row. Which means lots of baby cuddles today to make up for a busy weekend. Cody did an excellent job at being daddy alllll weekend and Miss Evynn sure thinks he's the greatest ;) Also, hosting a baby shower this weekend. Y'all know party planning makes my heart skip a beat!

two years of marriage

this picture is actually from last week, but too sweet not to share. Cody read Evynn a bedside story, the book of Exodus, mind you... and i had my hand close enough for her to hold. such a sweet moment. 

we celebrated our second anniversary on monday!

I had the day off but Cody had to work. He came home for lunch though, just minutes after i checked the mail and saw that I got his new wedding band in. Whew! So I gave him that gift and he brought home lunch and the most beautiful flowers! we opened cards from our wedding (the guests could write a note and then write a number on the envelope and we would open it on that anniversary). I hate asking people to babysit, but at lunch Cody told me he had already asked Evynn's normal daytime babysitter if she could watch Evynn that night so we could go on a date. the man thought of everything ;)

while Cody went back to work I tried laying Evynn down for a nap but she was NOT having it. Finally I decided let's restart and get out of the house. I went to the park and walked a few laps and listened to podcasts along the way. She fell asleep after two full laps, this girl..... then I met a friend and her boys at the park for some adult convo! then back home to get ready for our date!

we went to Hyashi for sushi and hibachi, yum. Afterwards we knew we would get dessert at either marble slab or pie bar, since they're both in walking distance. Last time we did this date, we did pie bar so I was okay with it when Cody said "let's go to marble slab". When we got there he went to the restroom and told me to order our ice cream. He came back as I was approaching the checkout and I had my card in hand. He said "it's okay, i'll get it". I giggled because we have the same money.... and then he informed the girl "and I have an order to pick up" and that he did! He had called earlier and ordered a chocolate ice cream cake with our wedding date on it. 

We went home, picked up our baby girl and enjoyed ice cream cake while watching our wedding video. 

we talked about the last two years... and our first anniversary in particular. Last year we had just gotten back from our trip to Chicago and on our actual anniversary had church then trunk or treat then ate frozen wedding cake and watched our wedding video. A few days-weeks later I knew something was off and sure enough, now we have a 3 month old ;) This year is different for sure but such a wonderful change!

This may be cliche but my favorite part of this year was experiencing pregnancy with Cody and the grand finale of welcoming Evynn into the world. You learn so much about serving each other when you're throwing up on the daily, see your body grow and stretch, and pray your ever loving heart out for that baby. The hardest part was probably the early weeks of Evynn's life... while we didn't fight, it was a challenge when you're flat out exhausted and worn and still trying to be a good spouse. We have learned so much this year!

Love you Cody!

evynn claire | three months

How many months old? 3 months

Weight? no weight check this month.. but I can see visual growth! I finally got told “she’s chunky!” this month which has been great since I get told how tiny she is 90% of the time.

Doctor check-up? No doctor appt this month!

Any teeth? nope

Sleep? I am so happy to say there is improvement! I read Baby Wise, we don't follow the schedule exactly but we do try to get her on somewhat of a schedule and it works for us. For bedtime we do a routine of bath, lotion, jammies, swaddle, nurse/rock in a dark room, burp and by this point her eyes are heavy if not closed and I lay her down (in her crib.. we transitioned her alittle earlier than 3 months but it worked for us!). About 5 min later she wakes up and notices she’s by herself and cries but it doesn’t last long and back to sleep she goes for 6-7 hours! Yes!!! She usually wakes up again at 2/3 am and I change her diaper, reswaddle, and nurse/rock for a shorter time before she’s out again, then she sleeps till 7/8 am. BUT this last week she's slept through the night. We lay her down between 8:30-10 (depending on what we're doing and how much she's fighting it ;)) and she's slept till 6 or 7!!!  She’s still stubborn when it comes to napping but everynow and then she takes a good 2 hour nap in her crib. We’re still a distance away from a solid schedule though. Baby steps…

we know she's going to wake up and cry so we watch her on the monitor... but she has found about the camera hahaha!

Feeding? I feel like it’s going great! I’m thinking she’s eating a lot more at night at least. There are days when she still wants to eat every 2 hours or so during the day but we’re working on longer stretches and getting good feeds in during the day.

Eating anything? Mommys milk!

Developmental milestones? She loves to show off her adorable smile! She also laughs occasionally. She loves loves her hands and holds them together, interlocking her fingers and they’ve started finding their way in her mouth. She is big into spit bubbles right now (which apparently a milestone per WonderWeeks). Still holding her head up like a champ. She had rolled over once a few weeks ago and then nothing… then the other day I was on the floor with her and she was on her play mat doing tummy time. I turned away and out of the corner of my eye saw her roll over! So I put her back on her tummy and she did it again (and I got it on video!). She wants to sit up, if we have her in our laps with her back against our chest, she’ll tighten her belly and pull herself forward just alittle bit. She will hold a rattle if I put it in her hands, everything wants to go her mouth these days.

Favorite toy? She’ll pay some attention to her play mat, books, and rattles. Her pawpaw and mimi showed her the selfie camera on the phone and she could not get over who that adorable baby in the camera was ;)

 Speech and language? About once a day she carries on a big conversation with whoever has her. She has lots to say ;) She’s especially chatty when she should be napping.. trying to explain to me why she shouldn’t nap I guess ;)

Loves? Still the same… Nursing, sleeping while nursing, kicking all.the.time (everyone has mentioned how busy she is!), talking and laughing at daddy, walking outside, car ride naps, playing with her hands

Dislikes? When her food gets taken away, when she needs to burp, being laid down in her crib

Firsts: first vacation! We went to Colorado for an early anniversary trip and had the best time!

We love: This sweet sweet face so much! She is so attentive to us and her smile just melts our hearts!

now we just work on her hair growth hah! that one patch on the back won't cut it for bows ;)

weekend recap & random thoughts

on friday we got dressed to go see Cody speak at the high school's pep rally! He did so good :) Evynn finally fit into one of her fall dresses (still little big, but wear-able) and her headband I had made the day before. She was pretty cute and cozy!

after the pep rally we went to Lubbock to the food truck fest. It was fun! Luckily we got there right at 5 when it started and choose a wood fired pizza. It was delicious! We should've got a lot of food to start before sitting down, but instead we sat down to eat our pizza and when we got up to get more food it.was.packed. so we went to triple j's and shared (our favorite) nachos and pumpkin bread pudding. Then we went back home to the football game! 

I went back to work on Monday and Tuesday and it went great! I was nervous that I would be an emotional wreck and that I would forget everything, but my job came back to me and I just thought about getting to snuggle my baby that night to make me feel better :)

i am so thankful for a nurse schedule! Still work full time 3x/week but "stay at home" mom 4 days a week. We can do this. Cody was so helpful on my first two days back at work-waking up at 5 with me and packing my lunch while I fed Evynn or pumped, made my coffee, and when I got home he had my laundry done, dinner ready, kitchen cleaned, candles lit, and my bath water run. I am so thankful for him!

random thoughts/links:
 postpartum hair loss, y'all. Sheesh.

I ordered our 2nd year shutterfly book earlier! I made our last one from our wedding-anniversary and plan to keep up the octmober-october tradition. Shutterfly had a deal to get 40% any item and a free 12 month calendar, you know i was all over this!

I mayyy have ordered matching mom/baby swimsuits from Rad swim on a whim. You see, I was looking at instagram and a friend had a "who I follow Friday" post, I clicked on a girl who had a picture of matching swimsuits so I opened that up and she offered a 40% code. Again, show me a sale and i'm all about it!

I bought these leggings at target for Evynn last week and love them! She's in 6-9 in these, they're big on her waist but snug on her baby thighs. They were $5 last week but $2.50 now! What?!

the fourth trimester

tomorrow morning I return to work. I'm scared, anxious, and excited. But the tears are already on the verge of spilling out when I think of leaving my babygirl. 

the past three months have been the most relaxing couch sitting and netflix watching and the most stressful me.. i'm in charge of a small person's life, a small person that can pierce your ears with her cry. the most tiring it's no joke that moms and dads learn to survive on 3-4 hours of sleep and the most restful spending days on end solely resting and cuddling your new little one. the happiest the smallest human taking up such a big chunk of your heart and the most depressing those baby blues... and the loneliness.. yikes! the most rewarding we are parents! and that smile melts our hearts. and the most self sacrificing giving up sleep, our schedules... not to mention my body. yikes.

I am beyond thankful for being able to take a full 12 weeks of maternity leave, and for a job that is more than gracious when it comes to having babies! The first three months of a baby's life are often referred to as the "fourth trimester". Unlike the other 3 trimesters in moms belly, this time the baby is out in this loud, bright, cold world where they are sometimes not held, not constantly fed, and overall learning what this whole new world is about! That's what makes it so challenging. In my frustrating moments, I have to try and think what she is going through and how I need to be the one constant in her life. But, I've learned a few things along the way...

how imperfect and selfish I am
it's flashed everywhere that once you become a mom, you become selfless and the rest of your life is spent catering to your kiddos. no one talks about that transition phase. I went from our life revolving around Cody and I.. spontaneous date night? sure. book a trip to another country? great. spend my day off napping? yes please. Then the apple of our eye joined the picture and we now have to make sure she gets fed! and clothed! and bathed! and for goodness sakes, take a nap! Meanwhile, I just really want to take a bath for the first time in a few days. But, priorities take place and I surrender my desires to the needs of my child. This is the new norm, the wonderful new life we live.

the need for community
I've always been a social butterfly. Blame it on my passion for throwing parties or our college experience, but my desire is to keep the circle of friends thriving. And a circle of friends who seek and love the Lord on top of that. I have sent hundreds of text to friends of all kinds- friends with kiddos, pregnant friends, and friends that I just wanted to laugh with during my time at home. You need someone to talk to, get advice from, share lessons learned with, laugh at, and reminisce with. I've had girlfriends over, gone to other people's houses, and had lunch dates. I've nursed my baby while a friend nurses hers and we chat about new mommy life. I've walked the park, jogging stroller in hand, alongside a new friend. I've sought out community more than ever before. I mean, graduating college, started working, and getting married was a huge change in friendships alone but having a baby tops the list. Yes, things change and yes, it's harder to make spontaneous plans, but the need for community is still the same. New momma or not, women need friends. So don't be surprised if I keep planning get togethers, ladies.

how perfect of a Savior we have 
want to see how perfect of a creation our God can form? Have a baby. I love looking at the details of this tiny human-her long eyelashes, the dimples on her hands, her tiny toes and know that our God formed every detail in my belly. I've spent so many middle of the night nursing sessions crying out to God in prayer-prayer for patience, prayer for wisdom, prayer to see His love for me as I do Evynn. It also helps that Cody started a series of old testament stories retold this semester so I've been able to hear lessons of the foreshadowing of Jesus in so many childhood bible stories we all know. Thank you, Lord, for your constant presence!

how to be a mom
we went to the classes, we've held babies before, and overall felt somewhat good about bringing a child home. But, not a day has gone by that we haven't learned something. Week 1 we learned that some "rules" we set won't last. just give her the pacifier. Week 2 we discovered the discomfort gas can be for such a little belly. And what the heck do you do about it?! Why did we not receive instruction manuals on how to relieve infant belly aches?! Don't even get me started on learning how to breastfeed.  In the following weeks we continued to learn... we can still swaddle her when she's upset.... sometimes she just wants to be comforted in our arms.... do not lay her down before getting a good burp or you'll be back up in a few minutes... side lying nursing is the best for the middle of the night feedings,,, cosleeping? anything to get our own sanity back... i've learned that my baby hates wet diapers and not being able to see us in her view but she loves cuddling and talking to her daddy...
the point is, we continue to learn something new everyday. there is no right or wrong of how to be a mom, just whatever works for you and yours.

get up and go
Cody and I said when we got married that we always wanted to allot for traveling, and that was not to change when we became parents. I was told by a friend that if you stop living your life once you have a child, you'll start to resent your child, and I believe that to be true. I know too many mommas who don't leave their house for weeks on end and spend day in and day out chasing a baby around the house. My advice: get out, breathe, meet with friends, live. Being stuck inside all day not only depletes you of your community (which we need most, see above.) but seriously drives us batty. After a frustrating day, we can go to Target and walk the aisles and I'm instantly a new woman. So many days at home I spend hours on end trying to get evynn to take a nap, and it's like I'm just watching the clock "1 hour since I tried to lay her down.. ugh now it's been 2 hours...". The days that we spent out running errands, my mind wasn't focused on that which kept me from getting frustrated (not to mention, she will nap in the car!). Yes, we took our 6 week old on a 6 hour road trip. and yes, we took our 2 month old to the mountains. But, having a baby is an addition to your life, not a removal. 

throw it out the window
...that is, the rules you've set for "when i'm a mother". I had said no pacifier, no co sleeping, etc. and those both plus so many others went out the window! We co slept like pro's for a few weeks and it worked great! we got sleep, she got to eat, win win. But eventually I was so ready to roll over in my sleep and have her in a crib, on a good schedule so we worked on that. Then "I don't want to cry it out"... which we now do and it works for us. All moms and dads are different and all babies are different! I've learned to roll with the punches and encourage other mommas as they do the same.