the past three months have been the most relaxing couch sitting and netflix watching and the most stressful me.. i'm in charge of a small person's life, a small person that can pierce your ears with her cry. the most tiring it's no joke that moms and dads learn to survive on 3-4 hours of sleep and the most restful spending days on end solely resting and cuddling your new little one. the happiest the smallest human taking up such a big chunk of your heart and the most depressing those baby blues... and the loneliness.. yikes! the most rewarding we are parents! and that smile melts our hearts. and the most self sacrificing giving up sleep, our schedules... not to mention my body. yikes.
I am beyond thankful for being able to take a full 12 weeks of maternity leave, and for a job that is more than gracious when it comes to having babies! The first three months of a baby's life are often referred to as the "fourth trimester". Unlike the other 3 trimesters in moms belly, this time the baby is out in this loud, bright, cold world where they are sometimes not held, not constantly fed, and overall learning what this whole new world is about! That's what makes it so challenging. In my frustrating moments, I have to try and think what she is going through and how I need to be the one constant in her life. But, I've learned a few things along the way...
how imperfect and selfish I am
it's flashed everywhere that once you become a mom, you become selfless and the rest of your life is spent catering to your kiddos. no one talks about that transition phase. I went from our life revolving around Cody and I.. spontaneous date night? sure. book a trip to another country? great. spend my day off napping? yes please. Then the apple of our eye joined the picture and we now have to make sure she gets fed! and clothed! and bathed! and for goodness sakes, take a nap! Meanwhile, I just really want to take a bath for the first time in a few days. But, priorities take place and I surrender my desires to the needs of my child. This is the new norm, the wonderful new life we live.
the need for community
I've always been a social butterfly. Blame it on my passion for throwing parties or our college experience, but my desire is to keep the circle of friends thriving. And a circle of friends who seek and love the Lord on top of that. I have sent hundreds of text to friends of all kinds- friends with kiddos, pregnant friends, and friends that I just wanted to laugh with during my time at home. You need someone to talk to, get advice from, share lessons learned with, laugh at, and reminisce with. I've had girlfriends over, gone to other people's houses, and had lunch dates. I've nursed my baby while a friend nurses hers and we chat about new mommy life. I've walked the park, jogging stroller in hand, alongside a new friend. I've sought out community more than ever before. I mean, graduating college, started working, and getting married was a huge change in friendships alone but having a baby tops the list. Yes, things change and yes, it's harder to make spontaneous plans, but the need for community is still the same. New momma or not, women need friends. So don't be surprised if I keep planning get togethers, ladies.
how perfect of a Savior we have
want to see how perfect of a creation our God can form? Have a baby. I love looking at the details of this tiny human-her long eyelashes, the dimples on her hands, her tiny toes and know that our God formed every detail in my belly. I've spent so many middle of the night nursing sessions crying out to God in prayer-prayer for patience, prayer for wisdom, prayer to see His love for me as I do Evynn. It also helps that Cody started a series of old testament stories retold this semester so I've been able to hear lessons of the foreshadowing of Jesus in so many childhood bible stories we all know. Thank you, Lord, for your constant presence!
how to be a mom
we went to the classes, we've held babies before, and overall felt somewhat good about bringing a child home. But, not a day has gone by that we haven't learned something. Week 1 we learned that some "rules" we set won't last. just give her the pacifier. Week 2 we discovered the discomfort gas can be for such a little belly. And what the heck do you do about it?! Why did we not receive instruction manuals on how to relieve infant belly aches?! Don't even get me started on learning how to breastfeed. In the following weeks we continued to learn... we can still swaddle her when she's upset.... sometimes she just wants to be comforted in our arms.... do not lay her down before getting a good burp or you'll be back up in a few minutes... side lying nursing is the best for the middle of the night feedings,,, cosleeping? anything to get our own sanity back... i've learned that my baby hates wet diapers and not being able to see us in her view but she loves cuddling and talking to her daddy...
the point is, we continue to learn something new everyday. there is no right or wrong of how to be a mom, just whatever works for you and yours.
get up and go
Cody and I said when we got married that we always wanted to allot for traveling, and that was not to change when we became parents. I was told by a friend that if you stop living your life once you have a child, you'll start to resent your child, and I believe that to be true. I know too many mommas who don't leave their house for weeks on end and spend day in and day out chasing a baby around the house. My advice: get out, breathe, meet with friends, live. Being stuck inside all day not only depletes you of your community (which we need most, see above.) but seriously drives us batty. After a frustrating day, we can go to Target and walk the aisles and I'm instantly a new woman. So many days at home I spend hours on end trying to get evynn to take a nap, and it's like I'm just watching the clock "1 hour since I tried to lay her down.. ugh now it's been 2 hours...". The days that we spent out running errands, my mind wasn't focused on that which kept me from getting frustrated (not to mention, she will nap in the car!). Yes, we took our 6 week old on a 6 hour road trip. and yes, we took our 2 month old to the mountains. But, having a baby is an addition to your life, not a removal.
throw it out the window
...that is, the rules you've set for "when i'm a mother". I had said no pacifier, no co sleeping, etc. and those both plus so many others went out the window! We co slept like pro's for a few weeks and it worked great! we got sleep, she got to eat, win win. But eventually I was so ready to roll over in my sleep and have her in a crib, on a good schedule so we worked on that. Then "I don't want to cry it out"... which we now do and it works for us. All moms and dads are different and all babies are different! I've learned to roll with the punches and encourage other mommas as they do the same.
I am beyond thankful for being able to take a full 12 weeks of maternity leave, and for a job that is more than gracious when it comes to having babies! The first three months of a baby's life are often referred to as the "fourth trimester". Unlike the other 3 trimesters in moms belly, this time the baby is out in this loud, bright, cold world where they are sometimes not held, not constantly fed, and overall learning what this whole new world is about! That's what makes it so challenging. In my frustrating moments, I have to try and think what she is going through and how I need to be the one constant in her life. But, I've learned a few things along the way...
how imperfect and selfish I am
it's flashed everywhere that once you become a mom, you become selfless and the rest of your life is spent catering to your kiddos. no one talks about that transition phase. I went from our life revolving around Cody and I.. spontaneous date night? sure. book a trip to another country? great. spend my day off napping? yes please. Then the apple of our eye joined the picture and we now have to make sure she gets fed! and clothed! and bathed! and for goodness sakes, take a nap! Meanwhile, I just really want to take a bath for the first time in a few days. But, priorities take place and I surrender my desires to the needs of my child. This is the new norm, the wonderful new life we live.
the need for community
I've always been a social butterfly. Blame it on my passion for throwing parties or our college experience, but my desire is to keep the circle of friends thriving. And a circle of friends who seek and love the Lord on top of that. I have sent hundreds of text to friends of all kinds- friends with kiddos, pregnant friends, and friends that I just wanted to laugh with during my time at home. You need someone to talk to, get advice from, share lessons learned with, laugh at, and reminisce with. I've had girlfriends over, gone to other people's houses, and had lunch dates. I've nursed my baby while a friend nurses hers and we chat about new mommy life. I've walked the park, jogging stroller in hand, alongside a new friend. I've sought out community more than ever before. I mean, graduating college, started working, and getting married was a huge change in friendships alone but having a baby tops the list. Yes, things change and yes, it's harder to make spontaneous plans, but the need for community is still the same. New momma or not, women need friends. So don't be surprised if I keep planning get togethers, ladies.
how perfect of a Savior we have
want to see how perfect of a creation our God can form? Have a baby. I love looking at the details of this tiny human-her long eyelashes, the dimples on her hands, her tiny toes and know that our God formed every detail in my belly. I've spent so many middle of the night nursing sessions crying out to God in prayer-prayer for patience, prayer for wisdom, prayer to see His love for me as I do Evynn. It also helps that Cody started a series of old testament stories retold this semester so I've been able to hear lessons of the foreshadowing of Jesus in so many childhood bible stories we all know. Thank you, Lord, for your constant presence!
how to be a mom
we went to the classes, we've held babies before, and overall felt somewhat good about bringing a child home. But, not a day has gone by that we haven't learned something. Week 1 we learned that some "rules" we set won't last. just give her the pacifier. Week 2 we discovered the discomfort gas can be for such a little belly. And what the heck do you do about it?! Why did we not receive instruction manuals on how to relieve infant belly aches?! Don't even get me started on learning how to breastfeed. In the following weeks we continued to learn... we can still swaddle her when she's upset.... sometimes she just wants to be comforted in our arms.... do not lay her down before getting a good burp or you'll be back up in a few minutes... side lying nursing is the best for the middle of the night feedings,,, cosleeping? anything to get our own sanity back... i've learned that my baby hates wet diapers and not being able to see us in her view but she loves cuddling and talking to her daddy...
the point is, we continue to learn something new everyday. there is no right or wrong of how to be a mom, just whatever works for you and yours.
get up and go
Cody and I said when we got married that we always wanted to allot for traveling, and that was not to change when we became parents. I was told by a friend that if you stop living your life once you have a child, you'll start to resent your child, and I believe that to be true. I know too many mommas who don't leave their house for weeks on end and spend day in and day out chasing a baby around the house. My advice: get out, breathe, meet with friends, live. Being stuck inside all day not only depletes you of your community (which we need most, see above.) but seriously drives us batty. After a frustrating day, we can go to Target and walk the aisles and I'm instantly a new woman. So many days at home I spend hours on end trying to get evynn to take a nap, and it's like I'm just watching the clock "1 hour since I tried to lay her down.. ugh now it's been 2 hours...". The days that we spent out running errands, my mind wasn't focused on that which kept me from getting frustrated (not to mention, she will nap in the car!). Yes, we took our 6 week old on a 6 hour road trip. and yes, we took our 2 month old to the mountains. But, having a baby is an addition to your life, not a removal.
throw it out the window
...that is, the rules you've set for "when i'm a mother". I had said no pacifier, no co sleeping, etc. and those both plus so many others went out the window! We co slept like pro's for a few weeks and it worked great! we got sleep, she got to eat, win win. But eventually I was so ready to roll over in my sleep and have her in a crib, on a good schedule so we worked on that. Then "I don't want to cry it out"... which we now do and it works for us. All moms and dads are different and all babies are different! I've learned to roll with the punches and encourage other mommas as they do the same.
No comments:
Post a Comment